Looking Back on my Jupiter Return

​I counted down the days until my Jupiter return like I used to count down the days until summer vacation—calculating the months, then weeks, then days, until it was October 11th. The date was already recorded in my inner rolodex as Hallie and Annie’s birthdays in The Parent Trap. I’m not usually one to remember details like this, my Mercury in Pisces makes sure of it. However, for Lindsay Lohan, it’s more than just a date; it’s the final clue indicating that Hallie and Annie are, in fact, identical twins separated at birth. Such a momentous moment in Disney cinema is indeed, difficult to forget. It was the precise moment that set the rest of the plot in motion and expanded the lives of these characters in such a grandiose way, it can only be described as Jupiterian. Although I never attended sleepaway camp, the exposition for my own Jupiterian journey might also be described as cinematic. After providing my boss the one-month’s-notice she claimed was necessary to leaving Nesmon Café unscathed, I collected my final check on October 3rd and boarded a plane to Denver, Colorado. Successfully dodging a Scorpio-moon grudge match, I was pleased with myself for swearing to never serve crepes in a fedora again. Who knew quitting at something could prove more challenging than following through?

October 11th fell in the middle of my 17-day retreat from Los Angeles. Nestled beneath three layers of blankets, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two months and watched the snow cascade down his window framed by Christmas lights. I celebrated the occasion the way I celebrate every big moment in my life—with a fresh everything bagel with cream cheese. My time in Boulder provided the opportunity to work on my writing while Garrett attended class, my first “I love you” since high school, and an editing gig that resulted in a hefty pay check. I traveled to Boulder twice more before Garrett graduated in December and began applying for engineering jobs in Los Angeles. I texted my mom one afternoon leading up to my Jupiter return with the kind of question an astrologer never knows how to answer: “Since my Jupiter is trine my Venus in the seventh house, do you think the cosmos will offer me a boyfriend this year?” After eight months of sharing an address with a man I only met a year and a half ago, I can’t help but feel that Jupiter hacked my phone.

I recorded my expectations for this period of expansion in my Notes App titled, “JUPITER RETURN PATH TO SUCCESS.” Among it are many goals that I’ve accomplished over the year such as, “Buy MacBook!!” and “finish writing a script,” while other bullet points appear like a stranger. Aspirations such as, “Sign up for UCB writing class,” or “start auditioning for things again” jar me with the memory of a 23-year-old version of myself who is not yet jaded by the entertainment industry. 

If I hadn’t purchased my MacBook, I could have never made my first short film—a goal I didn’t even realize I wanted to achieve a year ago, or perhaps it just didn’t seem realistic at the time. Nevertheless, something pushed me to not only create a film, but to present it at my apartment’s monthly film screening. Each compliment I received reminded me why I never dropped $500 on a comedy writing class. I learned that I already possess the tools to produce high-quality narratives. Six completed scripts later, I wonder what was stopping me before.

Jupiter’s final exam occurred in the form of an emotional test that challenged my psyche, my body, and my relationship. Between chronic yeast infections, weekly therapy sessions, and restless nights spent obsessing over my natal chart, I learned more about myself in the past few months than I have in the last twenty-four years. I learned what it means to be depressed and come out of it without a single pair of pants that fit. I learned how to be in a serious relationship, and why all my previous relationships never became serious. I learned how to confront issues head on and prevent the cycle of being taken advantage of. After years of talking about recording an astrology podcast, Jupiter finally pushed me to purchase a microphone and download the necessary software—a fitting motivation seeing as my Jupiter falls in the third house. They say Jupiter returns are a time of good fortune that sometimes includes the destruction of old habits in order to expand our lives. I’d say that my Jupiter return beat the shit out of me and resuscitated a wiser woman with longer hair and better work hours. My life and my surroundings are vastly different than when I made ten Crepe Maisons in thirty minutes, yet I can’t help but feel that it’s me who is truly changed.