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    • A Deeper Understanding of the 1st House in Astrology
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  • Blog

The 8th House: Value, Control & Power in Relationships

5/11/2014

1 Comment

 
Picture
Photos used under Creative Commons from SayLuiiiis
​Whoever has the most value in a relationship also has the most control and power, and in our most intimate relationships, we discover our real value. For better or worse, it all gets played out in the dark waters on the eighth house. The unspoken knowledge of why our partner needs us and why we need our partner infuses the waters of the eighth house with intense feeling. We don't like to talk about it, but it colors everything. It's an emotional understanding that acts as the basis for the whole relationship and it's never balanced. We always know who needs whom more, so we always know who's more valuable in the relationship. Whether or not the more valuable person uses the control and power their position imbues with maturity and respect determines the course of the relationship.
No matter how valuable a person is, if they use their value to take advantage of their mate, it will lead to anger, frustration, resentment and possibly violence. Unfortunately, many of us are afraid to directly address this dynamic or talk about it because, at its core, it translates into power, control and value which are distasteful topics in relationships which are supposed to be based only on love. But romantic love belongs to the fifth house and consideration and fairness belong to the seventh house. So we float along in our eighth houses feeling these deeply emotional issues and never really dealing with them because they're just too ugly. But in Scorpio's house, it's only a matter of time. The eighth house represents death and rebirth. The feelings eventually reach a breaking point or an emotional impasse and the death will begin. The dark, underside of the relationship will be exposed. Then it must be confronted.

Those who choose to deny it, either live with feelings in their gut that brood and eat at them because they are living in a never-ending state of dying. Or, they let the death complete itself by bringing everything out into the open. Then emotional arguments and intense confrontations about the reality of the value, power and control issues in the relationships can be worked through and heal the relationship giving it a symbolic rebirth. But if the relationship is over and really dead, Scorpio's eighth-house power is fully released and all hell really breaks loose. This eventually leads to a rebirth for both people, but during the transition, everything is powerfully put out in the open. Your value in the relationship is no longer unspoken. Now it's clearly defined in writing in a divorce agreement. It's argued about, not only between you are your ex, but between attorneys and other family members. The intense feelings in the eighth house are difficult and too often swept to the side, but they never go away. Not dealing with them makes the inevitable death and rebirth cycle more dramatic than it needs to be.
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Aquarius & Self-Expression

5/9/2014

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Picture
Photos used under Creative Commons from torbakhopper
The more intense the feeling, the more an Aquarius will hide it or deny it. Aquarians miss opportunities for intimacy because they just can't break out of their own walls and express their love for people. They go through years of avoiding people because they just can't have the argument that would release their feelings and clear up the situation. Aquarius is a mature sign that has enormous self-control and really doesn't feel as many of the trivial and immature emotions that many of us feel, but they do feel emotions. And when they do, it's often painful because they either feel immature and selfish expressing them or they simply can't release them.

The sign of Aquarius spurs some of the most talented artists and performers, so why is self-expression a battle for Aquarius? Creating art and performing are indirect expressions of the personality and emotion. Performers often go into character and pretend to be someone else. In creating art, a medium is used that serves as a buffer between the Aquarius person and the world.
Direct self-expression in the form of emotional displays or gut-wrenching, personal conversations are extremely difficult for Aquarians. Aquarians will tell you that these things feel unconformable and they aren't necessary. They will avoid sensitive emotional issues and conversations. But look deeper at your Aquarius mate or friend, and you may discover that they often feel trapped inside themselves. They may be glad they are never the fool in crowd who loses emotional self-control and embarrasses themselves, but they are also jealous of the people who can express emotions properly and enjoy the emotional release and intimacy with other people that they struggle to achieve. Many of them have feelings and emotional thoughts that are eating at them from the inside. It may be feelings of lust or love for another person. It may be anger, or it may be frustration. The next time you are with an Aquarius, remember that every once in a while their claims about not feeling anything just aren't true and they are really suffering inside.
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Mutable Signs: Creativity & Low Threshold for Boredom

5/9/2014

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Some of the most creative, intuitive and intriguing people are the mutable signs: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces. They also have the most difficult time coping in our paradoxical world of competition, structure and routines. As mutable signs, they crave variety and spontaneity, but in order to be responsible adults, our world requires us to suppress these desires most of the day. We are taught that we need "remain on track". Few jobs lend themselves to the variety and spontaneity that mutable signs need. Most of us follow basically the same routine everyday and our jobs are rather monotonous. This can be torture for a person with a heavily mutable chart, especially a mutable moon sign. Mutable sign people need lives and jobs that allow them to be on the move and have constant change and flexibility. 
Picture
Photos used under Creative Commons from dragonflaiii

Otherwise, boredom sets in, frustration builds, job performance falls and often self-defeating behavior begins as a source of escape. Addictions to substances like alcohol or vices like gambling or promiscuous sexual behavior can offer a diversion from the boredom, but it can become a downward spiral. The self-defeating behaviors get them into relationship problems, job problems or health problems and they lack the self control to stop it. They blame themselves and feel weak. Those mutable-sign people who are able to live flexible lives on their own schedules while exerting levels of motivation that suit their changing moods and situations are lucky. Mutable sign people are extremely creative, have unconventional intelligence, and detect nuances in the world that the other modalities miss, but when the world shoves them into a cubicle and a time schedule, they are crushed.It isn't natural for them and doesn't allow them to flourish and grow. They can't follow their own creative thought patterns and instead are distracted and bored. Although many are able to find their way through this structured world and manage let their creativity blossom, too many find themselves drowning in the muck of the world that others make for them and never discover their talents and gifts.
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12th House & Ascendant: Prenatal Experience & Birth

5/8/2014

6 Comments

 
Picture
Photos used under Creative Commons from storyvillegirl
Planets surrounding the ascendant and twelfth-house signs reaching the ascendant describe the situation leading to our birth and the birth itself:
The house of the unconscious, the metaphysical and the spiritual, the twelfth house is also the doorway to our birth. The prenatal experience in the womb as it leads to our birth is represented by the twelfth house, while the actual birth is represented by the ascendant. The prenatal and birth experiences remain in the unconscious and create the first marks on the canvas of our lives. They linger somewhere in the recesses of our minds creating a tone in our lives. The signs and planets in our twelfth house and on or near the ascendant reveal a great deal about our prenatal experience, the experiences of our mothers during their pregnancy and our birth. These experiences affect us then and throughout our lives. A natal chart packed with planets around the ascendant indicates that the mother's life was filled with activities and issues while pregnant and at our birth. While an empty twelfth house with no planets around the ascendant shows an uneventful pregnancy and mother a who was not bombarded with issues or difficulties.
Aries or Mars - A pregnancy with some conflict, arguing or emergencies is common with this placement. Either the mother or father may fight to terminate the pregnancy or keep the child. Difficulties with the birth are common. Surgery during the birth or after the birth on either the mother or child are common. The prenatal experience is stressful for the child and this placement is often found with premature births.

Taurus, Libra or Venus - A pleasant pregnancy where the mother is calm and relaxed is natural for this placement. The mother may indulge in excessive amounts of food and treat herself to relaxing activities and music. They may be issues regarding money and expenses along with an evaluation about a possible change in values for the family either during the pregnancy or when the child arrives. The prenatal experience is relaxing with the child and the birth may occur late or be induced because the mother does not go into labor on time.
Gemini, Virgo or Mercury - A mother who studies about pregnancy and child rearing is often found with this placement. She takes an intellectual view of the pregnancy and wants to make sure she does everything correctly. She carefully watches her weight gain, eats correctly and educates herself all of the possible problems with the birth. The prenatal experience is pleasant and stimulating. The birth goes as planned.

Cancer or the moon - The pregnancy and birth are highly emotional for the mother. Security issues with the mother's marriage or in the mother's life in general are often found, such as, the stability of the marriage or housing or money. A focus on the home is common, whether it's remodeling or moving. The mother may feel a vague sense of worry over caring for her new child.

Leo or the sun - The mother is proud during pregnancy and the pregnancy is inspiring to her. She feels the pregnancy fulfills her gives her meaning in life. There may be issues related to the heart of either the child or mother or blood pressure issues during the birth. The birth may be slightly early and is celebrated.

Scorpio or Pluto - Power or control struggles during the pregnancy are found with this placement. The unborn child can be the centerpiece of power plays between the mother and father or in-laws. Suspicions may run high during the pregnancy relating to any possible issue at hand. The mother is careful during the pregnancy and does not trust anyone. She is careful to maintain her resources for the coming birth so that she will not be in need when the baby arrives.

Sagittarius or Jupiter - Traveling while pregnant and giving birth in a foreign land or while traveling is common with this placement. Issues of freedom are central in the mother's pregnancy and there may be debate about staying with or separating from the father. Excessive eating is common or anything that the mother attaches to during the pregnancy can be done in excess.

Capricorn or Saturn - A mother who is overwhelmed with responsibilities during pregnancy or working very hard while pregnant. Her resources may be limited, and her life in general may be difficult during this time. The child may seem like a big responsibility. The birth may be difficult, lengthy or go over term. A surgery is often required, such as, a cesarean section birth.
Aquarius or Uranus - Debate over following convention or being different is found with this placement. This could be regarding the rules followed during pregnancy, the style of birth or the rules followed in the relationship between the mother and father. Sudden events, such as, separation of the parents, marriage of the parents or suddenly going into labor are common with this placement. 

Pisces or Neptune - An unsure or confused feeling during pregnancy and birth is common with this placement. The mother may feel confused or unsure about motherhood or having another child. There may simply be unsettled issues in the mother's life that create a foggy cloud around the pregnancy and birth. The mother may feel like she is on shaky ground in her life and is unsure of how the new baby will fall into place. She may also feel slightly detached from the pregnancy.
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  • Home: Personality & Relationship Astrology
  • Readings
  • Astrology Articles
    • How the Zodiac Signs Ruin their Relationships
    • Zodiac Signs at their Best & Worst
    • Masculine & Feminine Signs: Are you More Masculine or Feminine?
    • ​Your Sun Sign is Your Key to Happiness & Success
    • What's your Astrological Maturity?
    • Does Astrology Determine your Fate?
    • Each Zodiac Sign's Secret Weakness
    • Are you Raw or Polished?
    • Guess Sun Signs by Understanding Sun-Sign Auras
    • The Astrology of Emotion
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  • Astrological Relationships: Compatibility & Attraction
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    • ​The Secret to Sexual Chemistry is found in our Astrological Sun Signs
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        • Pluto in Libra
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